Monday, December 14, 2009

Out With the Old....

I want to start this blog fresh. So, I have revamped the layout and have given it a new description. I found the old one, "Culture, Law, Politics, Insights," to be prohibitive and uninspiring. I want my blog to be a place where I feel creative and inspired, and the old format simply was not doing it for me.

So, I have decided to make the theme of this post about getting rid of old habits and ways of thinking, and welcoming a new frame of mind. To me, this seems appropriate and natural as 2009 comes to a close. I want to welcome 2010 with fresh thinking!

So what did I learn in 2009? Plenty. More than anyone would care to read on a blog, I am sure. But I want to share something that speaks to the new tag line of this blog, where I dub myself a "third wave feminist." To be honest, I didn't even know what the term meant until about one minute before I wrote it. I came across because it struck me that I have become somewhat of a post-feminist over this past year, and googled the term, only to discover on wikipedia (thank you!) that the term has evolved into third wave feminism.

What do I mean by a "third wave feminist"? Well, I think I mean that I have been afforded all the opportunities of the feminist movement... good public schooling, two working parents, an academic scholarship to Boston University, a collegiate high jump career (thanks Title IX), the chance to run a marathon without fear of infertility, the opportunity to earn my law degree... the list goes on and on. I graduated from law school almost two years ago and have a plethora of opportunities that my mother, a lifelong public school teacher, never had.

But what do I want to do with these options? Honestly, I have no idea. But I do know that I want a simple life, I want to be a good mother, I want to have time to come home and cook my family a meal, I want to enjoy my weekends, and I want to be a part of my community. I also know, after leaving law barely eight months at my first job, that I need to feel emotionally connected to my work. I know that, if someday I am going to be leaving my kids to spend my day at work, I better feel somewhat invested in it.

One year ago, I was an utter wreck. I went to sleep fearing work because it meant doing something about which I felt passionless. I woke up each morning feeling utterly inauthentic, and unable to get out of bed. (Leaving the comfort of my bed was hard to do because it meant living a life that was out of tune with my inner thoughts and my heart).

So I left law after less than a year, and found myself working full time at lululemon, and it was the best decision I ever made.

There, I found a community of bright, strong, confident, independent, fun, AMAZING women. With these women, my confidantes and co-workers, I share my inner thoughts, my everyday experiences, and my dreams and goals for the future. I feel supported, loved, and most of all... inspired. I know that I am not alone in this feeling of backlash against the paths that our mothers carved for us. I know that while we still define ourselves by a sense of obligation and duty to our parents, we are moving away from their dreams and finally uncovering our own. I have been on this journey for almost one year now, and have learned so much. I cannot wait to see what happens in 2010!


Emily said...

Great post Kel. I feel many of the same things that you do. I can't wait to see what 2010 has in store for us! :)

Laura Thomas said...

keep journeying onward, Kell. Glad to be along for your ride!